Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
