after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
