check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The struggles of a small town man whore
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize