I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
