Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
