one might say we're banned from that church
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
