So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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