The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
