If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Drake has all the answers
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
