Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
MIDGETS
????
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
