His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
