I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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