She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
