i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
