so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize