He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize