Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
what day is it and did you see me today?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
