There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And then my night got REAL pukey
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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