i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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