you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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