u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
