i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
