I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
