i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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