Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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