whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
