i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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