I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
