you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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