this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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