my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
