Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Randomize