i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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