So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
