Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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