Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry JohnLaurin hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

I should injure you considerably.

Fav 86 4407 1896
share tweet
(307): View more from Wyoming

burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef

Fav 33 7234 1142
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.

Fav 29 1156 7719
share tweet
(718): View more from New York

...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex

Fav 17 5141 1674
share tweet
(801): View more from Utah

Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.

Fav 4 1134 2893
share tweet
(661): View more from California

God gave him joint rollers for hands

Fav 10 3403 1332
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(864): View more from South Carolina

we already have meals planned for the weekend.

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.

Fav 13 5375 1414
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.

Fav 1 243 246
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(507): View more from Minnesota

He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(

Fav 0 38 21
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT