Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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