Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize