Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
