dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
