Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
They have beer where we have blood.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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