My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I want to fling myself into the sun
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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