'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
