it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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