It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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