butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
