what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
