sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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