Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
