I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize