Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
