I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
zippers are such a cool invention
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
A+ Viking dick
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