all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
