Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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