What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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