I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
