is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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