Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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