FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
