I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i need some magic done to my vagina
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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