we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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